Thank you for your interest in working at SlapSad! Here, you’ll have the chance to mingle with some of the finest people in the funny postcard industry. (We’ve been doing this for 150 years, so it goes without saying that we know funny postcards.)
One of the first things you’ll notice is that we play hard, but we work hard, too. Sure, sometimes we get fucked up and kill each other “like nobody’s biznassss,” as all the little fleek boys and girls are saying these days, but that doesn’t mean we don’t set aside time for making postcards. Lots and lots and lots of time, in fact. You won’t have much of a life if you work here – but what’s the point of living if you can’t work all the time?
Please note that our interview process is somewhat unconventional.
Current open positions:
- CREATIVE DIRECTOR
*** COPYWRITER – SlapSad – Denver, Colorado ***
Calling all word ninjas!!!
Are you looking to break into the big mad world of copywriting? Interested in joining forces with creative greats at one of the most cutting-edge, innovative postcard agencies in the country? SlapSad could be the place for you!
As a member of The Creatives, our celebrated and ceremonially tattooed tribe of liars, you’ll be lending your creative chops to some of the best and funniest postcards the world has ever seen or smelled. This is, after all, the place where legends were born – legends like Plainclothes Postcards, Scratch ‘n’ Imagine, Kill Saint Valentine, and The Frying Pan. Who knows, maybe it’ll be your witty words that appear on the next big SlapSad hit to smash up the nation’s mailboxes!
Get ready to roll up your sleeves, paint your fingernails black, and suckerslap derivative ideas right in the frontal lobe. We don’t do unoriginal, ever. If you can’t dream up dozens of big delicious ideas a day, then don’t bother applying. Small didn’t kill Goliath, but it might kill you. As Isaac Newton once yelled when an apple gravitied itself right onto his gonads, “I WAS TRYING TO SLEEP GODDAMMIT!” Not sure what that has to do with anything but keep it in mind while putting your application together.
This is a contract, junior position with the opportunity to go full-time.
- Coordinate with Carl (creative director), Keith Burnside (senior copywriter), and the rest of The Creatives (the creatives) to conceptualize, write, and present dozens of big delicious ideas for postcards every day
- Deliver at least one big idea per week that “goes viral”
- Brainstorm ideas for how to do the social media, and then get out there and #DoTheSocialMedia!
- Figure out what Marketing is and what it does
- Drink a lot (sober people need not apply; closet teetotallers will be outed and then #CrucifiedWithJesúsInTheBreakRoom)
- Tell Edward Punchline (CLO/General Counsel) and those cockslappers on the Unhelpful Content Reviewers team to go fuck themselves
- Attend Monday Drunken Lunch Brawl and Friday F***ed-Up Freezer Tag every week
- Submit to ceremonial tattooings every quarter
- Be extremely fleek and on biznassss
- 10+ years of experience in every area of writing:
- B2B, B2C
- SEO, SEM, S&M
- Social media (esp. MySpace)
- On the wall
- Comedy/humor/Jonathan Swift
- Graphic design
- Man in the moon
- Woman in the space
- Unconventional thinking
- 110% perfect, error free copy
- Equal parts brilliance of a mad scientist and humility of a saint
- Eagerness in every task, positive attitude in every circumstance
- Willingness to follow instruction even when it’s chillingly misguided
- Unrivaled attention to detail
- Some kind of mental illness that requires prescription meds
- Ridiculously high work ethic
- A killer portfolio with samples that lean more toward Lasker than Hopkins (bonus points if you can name all of the mental illnesses these men suffered from; top consideration if you suffer from all of them yourself)
- Must be available in the office Monday–Saturday during regular business hours, 9am to 9pm MST/MDT, with additional hours possible and likely
- Must be willing to work holidays (our busiest days) and most Sundays
- Must love the Oxford comma enough to kill all who spurn it
- Agency experience preferred but not required
If you can’t hit the ground running like a dog don’t apply. If you’re not a team player don’t apply. If you can’t spell don’t apply. If you’re not awesome don’t apply. We’re only looking for the best and the brightest.
How to Apply
Please submit your résumé, cover letter, and portfolio to slapsadness [at] gmail [dot] com. Include 10 creative ideas for postcards that would align with SlapSad’s current portfolio while also adding your own unique voice. Also, this job posting contains exactly 42 errors; please note all of them in your cover letter and provide corrections.
If we like your stuff, we’ll ask you to get a master’s degree in creative writing and then a Ph.D. in American Postcard Studies at a budget university of our choosing. Your dissertation should investigate the role nonreligious Christmas postcards played in Chicago’s murder-suicide rate during the last decade of the 19th century (1891-1900). 100 pages minimum, strict. If you thought the last decade of the 19th century was 1890-1899, don’t even bother applying.
Unfortunately we are unable to offer tuition reimbursement. We also can’t pay for your postcard ideas, but rest assured we will never use them for any reason. They’re yours forever. Cross our fingers hope to die.
Thanks for applying, and have a punch-happy day!
*** CREATIVE DIRECTOR – SlapSad – Denver, Colorado ***
SlapSad currently has a wonderful Creative Director but we are always accepting applications from interested candidates.
You should already be an experienced, unconventional, and highly creative Creative Director who is willing and able to direct and oversee all aspects of ideating, brainstorming, proposing, rejecting, accepting, designing, undesigning, redesigning, reinventing, writing, rewriting, editing, proofreading, presenting, selling, sending, and daydreaming about postcards.
This position is for life. Each new hire is contingent upon the death of the sitting Creative Director. No murder plots, please.
- Pretend to manage The Creatives
- Must be named Carl or be willing to legally change your name to Carl
How to Apply
Surprise us. Please be creative. slapsadness [at] gmail [dot] com.
Thanks for applying, and have a punch-happy day!