Merry Friday, everyone! Today I’m happy to announce the fourth postcard in SlapSad’s Scratch ‘n’ Imagine series – The Smell of Insomnia. Most people here in the office are pretty much over the whole freezer incident with Carl and the baboon head, but with every tragedy there’s bound to be a few unsavory side effects to the human psyches affected. Insomnia appears to be one of those effects, and it looks like it’s here to stay.
It’s not just me, either. Keith was up all night, too, so he helped me put the finishing touches on today’s scheduled content. We had that wrapped up well before dawn, so we figured we might as well try out a brand-new team-building event the C-suite’s calling Friday F***ed-Up Freezer Tag.
It’s like Monday Drunken Lunch Brawl, except without the Monday and Lunch parts. Also you have laser guns and target packs, and you aren’t allowed to leave the walk-in freezer until you’ve got 10 kills. At least one of which has to be actual homicide.
Admittedly, we didn’t think this through very well before starting (but I’m blaming that on sleep deprivation). We each racked up 9 laser kills within an hour. Then, since we get along pretty well and prefer not to murder each other, we had to spend the next hour or so slowly freezing to death until morning, when a couple hungover creatives saved our lives by showing up and failing to prevent their own deaths. Creatives are a dime a dozen, so HR probably won’t say anything.
Well, this blog has been more or less a rousing success! Why are you still reading it? Quit work really early and get your weekend started the right way with The Smell of Insomnia!