Well, I’m unhappy to announce that, as promised yesterday, SlapSad is updating its Bad SlapSad collection. Hooray, more obscene nonsense that nobody wants! Seriously, who would buy this? Our analytics clearly show that SlapSad customers prefer simple, lighthearted content like Ting Twusters and Plainclothes Postcards.
Instead, we’re offering another distasteful postcard called The Early Worm. It features an admittedly stunning shot of sunlight bursting through the afternoon clouds above Denver International Airport. But, as you can see, the copy reverses the popular aphorism “The early bird gets the worm,” resulting in a highly offensive anti-proverb.
Carl and T. Rhett both think this is a good idea. I’m still opposed to Bad SlapSad, but obviously the only thing I matter for around here is writing blogs and convincing people to heart our Facebook page.
Anyways, my onsimnia kicked in again. I’ve been up all night and I can’t sleep. Guess I’ll head to the break room and see if cleaning up the rest of the blood and broken glass will knock me out. Have a punch-happy day, everyone!