Well, we just found out that Donald Trump is the Republican nominee for King of America. Here at SlapSad, we take pride in diversity, equal opportunity, and tolerance for almost anything at all, no questions asked, but we have to draw the line somewhere. Mr. Trump’s crazy blatherations have forced us to make an actual moral judgment for perhaps the first time ever, or at least since Christmas.
There is just no way we can tolerate an orange man living in a White House. And come on now, we all know blockheads cannot fit into oval offices. So, it is with absolutely no apologies whatsoever that SlapSad, America’s first and finest funny postcard company, officially endorses Democratic nominee Bill Clinton for King of America, again.
Bill has everything you’d want in an American monarch – good looks, charisma, wit that won’t quit. Skin that isn’t orange. Tons of money from God knows where. And a loving, supportive wife who could probably be King herself if she really wanted to.
But I digress, as usual. The point here is that we just released a new postcard called Big Not Sorry, partly in reference to our unapologetic intolerance of Trump, and partly as a complement to the Big Sorry postcard we introduced on June 30, which by the way we’re not sorry about. Hey, wouldn’t it be a real thigh-slapper if everyone sent a Big Not Sorry to Trump when Bill is crowned King in January?