Happy Monday, everyone! It is with great SlapSadness that I announce the death of one of our interns.
S/he was killed on the way back from mailing those holiday blast postcards on Friday. While crossing the street, s/he was struck by a mail truck and thrown 50 feet, crashing right through the front window of a donut shop. Then, while trying to dial 911 on a shattered iPhone screen, s/he was shot 17 times by a cop for jaywalking and vandalism.
S/he will be missed, mourned, protested, and then forgotten, all within about two days’ time.
On the bright side, sales are up!